Why it's worth it

Ministry--let's be real shall we--it isn't always glorious. It isn't always rewarding. It isn't always easy.

You don't usually hear that right out of Bible college or seminary. You hear just the opposite: You're equipped! Thousands like you have gone before. Take the world by storm. Be Jesus to the masses.

The reality is this: ministry is difficult, messy, full of broken people, and not about you. This can lead us to some very hard places. Places of doubt and anxiety. Feelings of am I good enough? We may question our calling and if it's time to move on.

I've been there. In fact, if I were completely honest, I've been there more times than I care to admit. I just walked through a period exactly like I described. Feelings of doubt. Questions of calling. Hurt. Depression. Worthlessness. Asking God why...

The truth is I questioned if I was to be in ministry after a very, very hard season. A season that saw much pain and grief. A season marked by lack of affirmation, being moved without understanding why, and wondering why we were leaving good students who we loved and cared for.

"God," I cried out, "Why does it hurt?! Did You not call me to this? Why is there so much pain? Such heartache? Do you have a plan? Am I washed up?"

Many of you are or have been there. You question why. You wonder if you're called. You take a break from ministry to heal and consider not going back. You cry...for hours, days, months...you've been there. I have too.

But in walking through this I have seen that it is worth it. That God has a plan. That ministry can and will get better. That there is light at the end of the very long tunnel. That we are called. That the enemy will try to use doubt, inadequacies, hurtful comments, critical natures, and rough patches to try to turn you from being God's faithful servant.

Brothers and sisters hear me: we are called according to God's purpose, by the One who foreknew us, and is using us to accomplish His workmanship! Ministry was never meant to be easy. We are called to a life of difficulty in ministering to a world that has turned its back on its Savior. There will be moments of suffering, moments of fracturing, but also moments of great joy!

We do not do this for our own affirmation. We do not do this for notoriety. We do not do this to be the best friend of students or to be the most popular youth pastor. We do not do this to be liked or given gifts. We do not do this to be the center. We do this to point to the Center: our Savior.

This season was hard. As I was sharing with my students about why God was calling us away. As I wept openly looking at students that I had become a father to. As I asked why, God spoke. He spoke through the many hands that students laid on my wife and I. He spoke through the parents who hugged us goodbye. He nourished our spirits as students and volunteers talked of how God worked through us to help them. He wept with Elise and I as we said goodbye to our home. He rejoiced as we were welcomed to where He called us. He smiled as we connected with new students. He whispered "trust Me" as we began to faithfully walk in a new ministry and season.

My friends. My co-laborers. Know that ministry is hard, but it is worth it! We may not always see it on this side of eternity, but know that you can continue to serve because our rest and our reward is in Him and Him alone. The author and perfecter of all things! It will get better, God will use you, lives will be changed, and God will say, "Well done, My good and faithful servant." Ministry is worth it!

Fallen Servants

I had just returned home from a mission trip to Central America and I looked at the trending news and saw a headline that read "Megachurch Pastor Perry Noble Removed From Church." My heart sank, and inwardly I cried out "God not again!" As of late it seems too often there are church leaders failing in their leadership.

Darrin Patrick was removed from his position in the Acts 29 organization and from his pastoral position in the Journey Church for running over people and pushing his own image and agenda. Mark Driscoll was forced to resign from Mars Hill Church after allegations of plagiarism, belittling staff, and misappropriation of funds.  Perry Noble was dismissed by his church for his alcohol abuse and issues within his marriage. Tullian Tchividjian was let go for infidelity and dismissed from his ministries.

These are just some of the latest pastors to fall in their positions of leadership, and I must be honest these are only the ones that we hear about because they are the high profile leaders. The statistics for senior pastors failing in or leaving ministry (for moral, ethical, physical, or spiritual reasons) are startling to say the least. But what was even more startling is the amount of pressure that is placed upon these leaders to heed the calling God gave them.

Simply looking at the link above for statistics shows the undue stress these men and women are under and one can only imagine the added pressures of caring for an entire church body. That is not to say that simply because someone is a pastor they will fail, but we must acknowledge that as purveyors of the Gospel of Christ, it is easier for that to happen to those in ministry for these reasons and more:

• We tend to believe that whatever happens in a ministry is because of our works not God's.
• We convince ourselves that the ministry is ours not the Father's.
• We believe that without us the ministry will falter.
• We take all of the hurts, needs, and desires of our parishioners and place them on ourselves. 
• We become convinced that we can do all things through me who gives me strength.
• We become the end-all and be-all because people trust us and give us the room to do what we see fit.

The sad reality is that failing in Christianity is a part of life. We are sinful in nature and because of that we will fall, but too often we say "no not me." I am guilty of that. When I read of Noble's removal not only did I say "God not again," I also inwardly said, "God thanks that I work in youth ministry where this won't happen to me." 

How foolish am I to believe that this is a problem strictly associated with those in senior pastor roles? Sin afflicts us all, and we must take steps to combat sin in our lives! We must look to having the proper safeguards in place no matter if we are a volunteer, an elder, a youth pastor, a children's worker, or the executive pastor. Sin will always look to corrupt what God has necessitated for good, and we must not allow for that to happen. Satan would love nothing more than to see the Bride of Christ falter and fail. So what can we do to safeguard the church of God? First let's look at how to protect the ministries we serve in, and then how to help others - especially senior pastors - in their ministries. 

• Always cover the ministry you serve in prayer. Jesus constantly prayed for His disciples and the calling God had given Him. We should do likewise.
• Have accountability within the ministry. Allow for other leaders to speak into your life, your leadership style, and what you do. This helps to keep us humble and focused on the reality that these ministries are not about us but about the Father.
• Ask yourself if the ministry would succeed without you, and why or why not. A good ministry will carry on without you because it is God-centric not you-centric. 
• Do you find yourself calling it "your ministry?" Maybe practice calling it God's ministry and yourself the servant.
• Take regular breaks from your ministry. Our staff team takes a monthly recharge day. It is a paid work day where we do not come into the office but instead make sure our spiritual walks are where they should be. It looks different for each person. For some it includes reading their favorite Christian books, others take prayer walks or some take time away to pray, and others just get the rest they need to recharge. 
• Be willing to accept change and critiques. One of the hardest things to do is change, but we must be willing to because God calls for us to be vulnerable and eager to hear the Father's direction.
• Talk to and listen to your spouse and children. Ask them for their honest input. Have you changed since being in ministry? Do you find joy in what you do? Do you spend enough time with them? Are they resentful of the ministry you serve?

These are just some ways we can safeguard the ministries we serve, but what about our senior pastors? These men have such a weight on their shoulders that can be understood by only those who have held these roles. I stepped into such a role at 23 and held it for roughly two years, and it almost made me walk away from ministry. To those men who serve faithfully in this position day in and day out for years on end: THANK YOU! The stress these men face is huge and daunting; we must fight for and with them as they face daily attacks from the evil one. So what can we do for them? Here are a few ways to love and support your pastor:

• Send them a note of encouragement and thank them for what they do.
• Take them and their family a meal or dessert and thank them for their sacrifice and love for you and others. 
• Stop into the senior pastor's office to talk. Ask how they are doing, how you can pray for them, or ways that you can help outside of the ministry you serve. 
• Ask your senior pastor to go on a prayer walk in the community and pause to pray for them specifically. 
• Regularly engage with your senior pastor. So often it is easy to revert to our silos and rarely interact with other ministers, but we must engage! Have lunch together, take breaks together, have dinner at your homes, go on double dates. 
• Ask your senior pastor to be your accountability partner. Go beyond Covenant Eyes, and actually sit down and share life together. Encourage one another and pray together.
• Pray for them daily. These men of God need our love and support, but also heavenly support. 

To say that we are above failure is foolish and asinine. That is a lie of Satan and must be met with the truth of the Gospel. We are all fallen but we are redeemed in Christ and it is only through His power that we can accomplish anything. We must stand firm and not lambaste or lament these men who have fallen but pray for restoration, reconciliation, and protection for our ministries and those who lead them. Let us rise up in prayer and humility to serve the bride of Christ and honor the Great Shepherd who allows us to tend His flock. 

A life worth living: A look at how Christians do and should respond to others

Well it has been a while since I have last written, and for those of you who actually read this please accept my apologies. Life has been increasingly busy and hasn't allotted much time for me to actually sit down and write. With that being said, it doesn't mean I haven't had thoughts and topics come to mind that I want to write about, in fact it is the contrary that is true. I have been overwhelmed with topics and ideas, and if you were to look at my phone you would find multiple notes that are the beginnings of many posts that have not come to fruition. So I have decided to tackle a topic that may be off-putting to some but please read through the entire post and then respond to it. I mean why wouldn't I tackle a controversial topic after not having written in months?

Over the past few months, I have been really convicted about how we (yes I am including myself here) as Christians respond to and with contemporary culture. I have been blown away by some of the recent articles put out by "Christians" lambasting Kylie Jenner and claiming she is a dismal excuse for young ladies to follow while the same article glories Sadie Robertson for her lofty moralism and beautiful standards on being a perfectly modest Christian woman. Or what about how Christians have taken to mocking Bruce Jenner over his transitioning from a man to a woman? How about how Christians have become so opposed to homosexual marriage (read some of the comments)? How about how Christians openly attack other Christians like Josh Duggar when a sin has been committed (and no I am not excusing what he did, but calling us to look at our responses)? Oh and take a look at what people are saying on his siblings social feeds and how they have attacked them for his actions. Or better yet how about how Christians openly decry anything they feel harms their integrity and beliefs? Did Paul not tell us to prepare for persecution? Didn't Jesus say it will come? But his response was never to vilify those who do the persecuting but rather the pray for them and bless them! How have we come to this? Why has this mentality taken hold of us?

What this comes down to is that we as Christians are so judgmental that we have now become idolaters of those we hold to be "holier than thou". Where did we go wrong? Is it only a few bloggers who write viral sensations that become instant hits and a rallying cry for Christians? Is it only the few Christians that have become the vocal voice for our faith? And the answer is a resounding no! We are all guilty of this. We as Christians who decry the holier than thou mentality, the Christians who praise a God of grace and forgiveness, we as Christians who believe no sin to be too great for the love of God, we as Christians who stand condemned just as everyone else in this world but are justified by grace alone, we are the ones who have taken a moralistic stance that idolizes"great" people and bestows on them some sort of odd hero worship, but in the same breath demonize those who stand contrary to them.

Please understand that I use the pluralistic form here because I myself am just as guilty if not the greatest idolater among us. I have openly mocked different celebrities, I have placed great men of God on pedestals and revered their teachings but not God's Word, I have judged others before they could even utter a word, I have placed myself in a better light than I deserve, all because I believe I know better. All because I am a Christian. I use my salvation as a crutch, instead of living out the lifestyle Christ has called me to! I have laid down my cross and instead picked up an effigy of judgmental and critical theology because I have become just like the Pharisees of the Old and New Testaments.

How dare we do that? How dare we hold the world to the standards we hold ourselves to? How dare we judge when we are deserving of the same judgment the world itself is? Have we forgotten the wretches that we are? Have we forgotten how far God has brought us? Have we become blinded to the fact that without the shed blood of Jesus Christ we would be hell-bound ourselves and deserving of the same death that Adam bestowed upon us?

We as Christians have done our faith, our God, a disservice. Please hear me out: I am not lambasting Sadie, I am not saying don't be modest, and I am not saying to be of the world. I am saying we as Christians should be worshiping the Creator not the created. We shouldn't idolize a young woman because she is following Jesus. Rather we should also be following Jesus in a similar manner and giving Him the praise, the glory, the honor, the worship, and the respect He and He alone is due.

I know this is a harsh critique and many would run and say "we are not worshiping Sadie nor are we hurtful in how we critique" but the truth is we are! Every time we decide to take up a "cross" to preserve our religion we end up hurting others, ostracizing the world, and turning people off to the bride of Christ. I am not saying that we should let go of our theology, our doctrine, our beliefs, because what would we be then? I am saying that we as Christians need to do a better job at loving others. We need to do a better job at encouraging and uplifting people. Imagine if instead of throwing hurtful critiques around about celebrities we instead prayed for them and sent them letters expressing how beautiful they are, and how God loves them? Imagine for a moment that instead of saying, "I won't bake you a cake because I don't support gay marriage," we instead said, "I am going to bake this cake for you and pray that you come to know who Jesus is and that you experience His radical love for you." Imagine if you would a world where Christians didn't judge others based on their political parties, their lifestyles, their manner of dress, or their sins, but instead loved and served the world just a Jesus Christ did. What would happen? Maybe, just maybe we would see revival. Maybe, just maybe God's name would no longer be a profane term but instead be honored. Maybe, just maybe the church would once again become a safe place, a place of love and refuge and restoration.

We as Christians need to be very mindful of what we say, how we act, and how we treat others. Any time we glorify or vilify others it reflects on who we serve and claim to follow. Imagine how our critical thoughts, actions, comments, writings, and responses reflect Jesus, and maybe look to change that. I am not saying we need to excuse the sins and hurtful actions of others, but we are called to love, forgive, and let God be the judge. We cannot look at someone and dictate what is in their heart because we are not God and all of us are still works in progress. Christ works in peoples' lives in radical and supernatural ways and people can decide to follow Jesus on their death bed like the thief on the cross, or by an amazing encounter with God like Paul had on the road to Damascus. We as Christ followers need to be living, leading, and declaring Christ in all aspects of our lives. My hope and prayer is that we can be better imitators of Christ by growing in Him and maturing in our walks daily by seeking to be like Him.

A life verse and an honest confession

So recently I have been really challenged by a verse in the Bible, and when I share it some of you may laugh and say "yeah, you totally need to embrace it." And I would agree, but hopefully you will keep reading and allow for me to explain why.

Each year I have been trying to find a word, verse, chapter, or passage in Scripture that I can make my "life verse" for that year, and my life in general. It has been a while since I have talked about this, because well, duh, I haven't written in a long time. But this verse has been something I have wanted to talk about for a long time! So here goes...my verse this year is James 1:19-20 "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of man."

So let me hit the obvious first. I like talking...A LOT! There have been times that certain people in my life gave a look, a smack, or just told me to stop talking because I tend to take over conversations. And most of you reading this know that about me. It isn't like I am espousing some awesome new truth about the life of Nick. I like to talk, which is probably one of the reasons I am in the profession I am now.

But this verse has more to do with my life than just telling me to shut it, and if you will bear with me for a short (hopefully short) while I will try to explain it.

I have noticed this past year that in many situations I have controlled a conversation I shouldn't have. I have talked way more than I should have and didn't listen nearly as much as I needed to. If I have done that to you, please accept my sincere apologies. It is never my intent to do that and I know that I have probably alienated some of you by doing so. I never look to take the spotlight or to be the focal point, but I know it sure seems that way.

This verse has been jumping out to me like a slap to the face since November of this past year, and I only began to listen around Christmas time (another character flaw...I am super stubborn!). And when I began to listen I realized that yeah, I talk a lot but I also don't listen. If you have ever been in a conversation with me you may have noticed that when someone else speaks I tend to finish their sentences, or immediately jump in when they pause to breathe, or I just start talking over them.

Realizing this has been hard on me. I have realized that I have made others feel like what they have to say doesn't matter, I have seemed prideful, and I have pushed people away because I don't listen. Again, I am sorry for this and that is not who I am nor who I want to be perceived as.

This verse has challenged me to not only be slow to speak but also quick to listen. I love to fix problems! Most guys do, and because of that we, I, often offer up solutions without truly hearing what the other person is saying. So I am striving to make that my goal this year. Not to stop being a fixer or problem solver, but instead to listen, to process, and respond in kind. For me that means pausing before speaking, truly listening to others, and processing what to say in response to what was said.

Hopefully you will begin to see a difference in how I respond when we talk. Know that this is a process for me and I am learning through this. Please help keep me accountable and be willing to grab me by my face to make me listen if necessary (just not too hard, I am pretty fragile), and be praying for me. God is teaching me a lot and I have been really challenged by this. My prayer is two-fold in this. One that God helps to make me a better Christ follower and leader, and two that others may see Christ in me and have a desire to grow to be more like Him as well. I want to be man of God who is seen as righteous not because of anything I do, say, or think but because I am following the Word of God and living by it.

So there it is. An open and honest look into my life and how God is stretching me. Thanks for taking time to read this.

Life update and my attempt to get back into blogging

Wow! It sure has been a while hasn't it? It has been more than a year since I last wrote. That isn't because I don't have anything to say or because I lost my love of writing, life just got....well busy. My last post was from shortly after Elise and I said "I do", and then from there life took off for us! It has been a whirlwind to say the least, and I know if you read Elise's blog you have probably been more up to date with our lives. But I figured I would give everyone a glimpse as well to start off my foray back into blogging. Oh and if you are noticing the new design and layout, you can give props to Elise because she redesigned this a little while back and did an amazing job!

So after I wrote my last post, Elise and I were enjoying our new found life of marriage, but I was also looking for a new job. Many of you know my passion is in youth ministry and helping students to see the love, grace, and healing that Christ brings. And because of that I had been looking for youth ministry positions for a while, and God's timing couldn't have been more perfect.

I had a great job that I was super thankful for in Clinton but it was coming to an end and I knew that I would soon be unemployed if I didn't have a new position, but God led Elise and I to Parkview Church in Iowa City. Now neither of us thought we would end up staying in Iowa. I for one was not really sold on the whole Midwest style of living. Coming from the most densely packed state in the country to a river town with not much around was a complete culture shock for a Jersey Boy like me, but Iowa City was different. It was more urban but with a small town feel. The university and hospital was bringing a ton of young people in, and the surrounding area was exploding with people moving in. It seemed like every day something new was being built.

When Elise and I visited we were a little bit skeptical because we had a packed schedule over a weekend visit, and from the moment we arrived we hit the ground running! Dinner, visiting with staff, dessert, grabbing some sleep, breakfast, contract talk, coffee, meeting more staff, lunch, touring downtown, coffee, more meetings....you get the idea it was a lot of meetings and food. And let me tell you...The food is amazing!

Anyway, we wrapped up the weekend with me teaching Sunday morning and then attending a Sunday night Youth Group program and we headed home late Sunday night. The whole way back (in fact the whole weekend) Elise and I couldn't stop talking about the church and how we felt there was something different about this position. A couple weeks later after a lot of prayer, conversation with some awesome Godly people, and talking with one another I formally accepted the position at Parkview and joined a team of two others to form a complete Student Ministries office.

Elise then transitioned to part-time with the newspaper she worked at, and as that was happening I was commuting on the weekends to Parkview to begin working with the team and the students. It was a lot for us as newlyweds to handle, but it seemed that God was giving us the strength to make it through it all. I mean I honestly wouldn't recommend to anyone to get married, switch jobs, and move with a 2-3 month period. It was a little crazy to say the least!

Our first few months in Iowa City there were crazy times. We were settling in, trying to adjust to a new pace of life, dealing with dental issues (root canals), transitioning jobs again for Elise, and just trying to live as a married couple. It was tough at some points but through it all Elise and I grew closer and our marriage continued to get stronger! We made some awesome new friends, adjusted to life in a university town (or small city depending who you ask), settled into our jobs (both now at the church), and began to see why God wants us here!

I am loving the ministry I am in, and Elise has jumped right in to help with the high school youth ministry, and has been a huge asset to what we do here. Now life is settling into a pattern, as much as it can being in ministry. We have some super busy times, but always find time to be together and just enjoy being married.

Here are a few other brief updates on my life:

• Currently our youth team is planning our first concert at Parkview through our Student Ministries office and having The Digital Age come out on March 1st. It promises to be an awesome time and the outreach will be great as the Gospel will be presented. 
• I have applied to and been accepted by Liberty University and plan to pursue my masters in Biblical Counseling with a Youth and Family Emphasis in the Fall of 2015.
• I am beginning to work on two books and hope to eventually finish them. One will be on youth ministry and the different styles of leadership. The second will be semi-autobiographical with a focus on dealing with abuse in a Christian home and how to help all those involved (parents, siblings, the abused, and the abuser) as well as the church's response to it.
• And I am another year older! Bring on the thirties in less than a year.

I hope that those of you who read this are relatively caught up, and hopefully looking forward to my ramblings. If not, just pretend you are so I feel good (haha just kidding). But I do plan to write a bit more now and share some of my thoughts, passions, and understandings of life, Scripture, and a little bit of everything else. God bless all!